You had an argument with Bae and you just don’t get each other. Do you have the same arguments over and over? You aren’t getting your point across and both of you are frustrated because nothing is changing. Arguing is the norm.
Now let’s switch it. Do you care when your partner brings up something that bothers them? Are you tuning them out?
As a Relationship coach one of the main complaints I hear is, my partner doesn’t get me or doesn’t listen to me. I also hear, I feel like I handle everything by myself in the household. Once I really get what’s happening, I’m surprised to hear that neither of them are communicating their needs. Each of them are waiting for the other person to “get it”.
We sometimes wait the entire relationship for your significant other to get it. We get resentful, we talk about our unhappiness to our friends, or whomever will listen. Resentment happens which causes a break down in communication.
Use these three communication styles to shift your relationship.
Tell your partner why you are upset.
Simply yelling at someone or giving them the silent treatment doesn’t solve the problem. Letting your partner know “when you do this it makes me feel like this” is one way to communicate your hurt. Once your partner knows they made you feel that way, it makes room for a real discussion.
Validate your partners feelings.
Don’t you hate to be responsible for your boo’s feelings being hurt. Wouldn’t you rather act like it didn’t happen? We can’t help how someone feels. What we can do is acknowledge and validate their feelings. A relationship breaks down when communication isn’t present.
Have a check-in Conversation often.
Are you happy? Is sex satisfying for the both you? Is there anything you are resentful about? When you talk about your partner, are you sharing the highlights of your relationship or only the bad memories? Have you said everything you needed to say. Do either of you criticize often or belittle? Can you say I’m sorry? You will be surprised at what we hold in because we are afraid of our partners withholding love from us if we tell the truth. A check in keeps the honesty flowing. At work don’t you get a review? Most people work hard to get promoted at work. Imagine if you kept that same energy in your relationship. It would be hard to leave the house!
Please let me know how this helped you! You deserve to have a juicy, passionate and mutually satisfying relationship. Share with me one thing you will take from this post and take action on.
Please share with a friend if this resonates with you.